My So-Called Homeschool

. . . but you can’t take the homeschooler out of the girl. Yesterday Pink Pixie found out that one of her classmates doesn’t believe in God, but in Zeus. That surprised me a little, I didn’t know Zeus was the subject of modern worship, but you learn something new everyday, right? Anyway, some of the other kids were making fun of her. Pixie decided that she wanted to know more about Zeus, so she went on line and did some research. She wrote a little report (3-4 lines) and found a picture to print along with it. I so wish I had a scanner or my camera cord, it’s so cute!!! She is planning on turning it in to her teacher, not for extra credit, just so her teacher can see what she did. Gotta love it!

Squid found the cord!

I am loving this article!!!  My favorite quote — which is really describing the disconnect I’m feeling right now with the girls as we have them in school for now:

In very important ways, your relationship with your children in the Real World is distorted by the mechanization of the patterns of your life. The clock, in particular, dictates so much of your lives, and the clock is unforgiving. It causes tension, increases frustration, and makes you miserable. Another warp comes in the form of the very divergent interests between parent and child when the child spends all his day with other children and you spend all your day with adults. The moat between your lives is so wide as to be nearly uncrossable.

When you spend the day, all day, every day with your kids, these twists in your relationship are removed, leaving you to build something completely different. I can’t describe it. In fact, I suspect that these changes are unique for every homeschool family. I also sense that the further you drift into the homeschool world, the less able you are to explain to the Real World just how your lives differ.

I want that back!!!

Real life has such a way of getting in the way of the internet, doesn’t it?  I have meant to blog so many times and then just didn’t take the time to do it.  In my defense, if I have a choice between blogging and napping, at this point, naps win out every time!

I mentioned a possibly life-changing trip to Florida in my last post.  Well, life is NOT changing.  At least not to Florida.  Squid had a worship ministry possibility in the Tampa area, but it didn’t work out.  To be honest, we are both a bit relieved.  If God had called us to sell our house in the worst Michigan economy in history and move to Florida a month after the birth of our 4th child, we would have done it.  But I’m a little glad He didn’t.  We both have been involved with music and theatre auditions enough to know the difference between not being good at something and not being the right person for the job.  Squid is quite confident that it was the latter — and in ministry especially you don’t want to be in an job if you are not the man for the job.  Now, though, we’re a bit adrift and trying to figure out WHAT God has in store for us.

Homework is still stinking!  It is a bit better, time-wise, but still a struggle.  I just feel like the girls get NO time to play.  Saturdays they get some time, but then there’s the chores they didn’t do all week because of homework.   Squid has noticed, though, that the work is actually a little easy for them.  They know the facts, it just takes a long time for them to write the answers out because we haven’t done a lot of desk work at home.  So . . . he is actually thinking about bringing them home!  Homework is just busywork if they’re not learning anything new.  I’m going to have to take a more organized approach for this to work, though, and this whole school thing has really helped me see their strengths and weaknesses to work on.  I’m not promising them anything yet — Pink Pixie begs me every single day to quit school and come home — but we’ll see how the rest of the semester goes.

Speaking of homework and school, we had a marathon homework session this past Friday, Saturday, and Sunday afternoon because the girls left Monday morning with Nana and Papa for DISNEYWORLD!!!  You’d think I would have had more time to blog this week, but we decided to do some decorating while they’re gone.  I think I’ve mentioned elsewhere on this blog that we own a 2-bedroom 1086 sf bungalow.  Technically it’s a 3-bedroom since the bungalow is finished.  Squid and I have taken it because we have a king-sized bed and it just doesn’t fit well with other furniture in the smaller bedrooms.  But with Fiona on the way we have been tossing around the idea of turning the upstairs into the Girls Dormitory.  This week has turned into a bit of Trading Spaces around here.  We painted their room for us, and today started painting the upstairs pink for them.  Unfortunately, I did NOT check the paint chip before ordering paint as the website suggests and we have ended up with Pepto Bismol pink as the accent wall color.  It was supposed to be more of a rosy color.  I’m going to have to do some texturing, glazing, sponging, or something, because Squid just came downstairs after observing my cutting-in and said it looks like someone threw up Pepto Bismol on the wall.  Not exactly Blush and Bashful.  The girls will love it anyway, it was panelling — not the really cool knotty pine that 1940’s bungalows are known for, but cheapo crappy panelling.  So today was  Kilz and cutting in the hot pink and tomorrow will be rolling the Pepto and doing the lighter pink.  Then it’s move all the furniture that is currently residing in my dining room BACK into the rooms it belongs in.  I may not be back on for a couple of days.  But I promise it won’t be two more weeks.

OH, on the baby front:  Things are great.  She’s moving a lot, I have to go for non-stress tests TWICE A WEEK because of my ‘advanced maternal age’.  Really.  I have no other problems, my blood pressure is fine, my blood sugar is fine, I have no problems at all.  Good thing the office is only 5 minutes away.  It’s actually kind of nice, I snooze in an easy chair with my feet up and click this little clicker when Fiona kicks.  Peaceful!

Well, see ya after the painting’s done.  I’ll post pictures!

Well, looks like my so-called homeschool will be more so-called than I had planned. With the new baby on the way, and with my laid-back style of education, Squid has really pushed to put the girls in school this year at least. He is on board with the basic idea of homeschooling, but concerned that they may be falling behind. My view is, I have 18 years to get it all in, so I don’t need to necessarily do things in the order that school would. His view is panicked that they’ll turn 18 and won’t know anything. I really do respect his concerns, I am just coming at this from such a different direction!

So, after many, many, many conversations, I finally gave in and agreed to look into it. And wouldn’t you know, the day I decided to do that (and blogged it), a friend of ours from church reminded me that his wife teaches in a Montessori charter school. First through third grades are taught together so the girls would be together in class, our close Christian friend teaching, their dance teacher is an aide there, Montessori mindset — what could be better (except homeschooling of course!)? I filled out the paperwork, took it in, then waited for a call.

Well, it’s August and no call! “Oh, darn, I guess they’re full,” I told Squid. I told God “If you wanted them in school, I guess there would be a place for them. I’m taking this as a sign that they should be at home.”

Thursday — call from the school. “Mrs. J made a note that they were her dance students and it somehow got coded in the computer that they were current students here! So we didn’t get you the new student packet last month. I’m going to mail this to you; I need you to fill it out and get it to me on Monday.” Sigh. OK, definitely NOT a sign from God. I haven’t seen the packet yet, but I am not looking forward to this. Vaccination information — I’ve been a little laid-back in that area too — forms to fill out, supplies to buy. Yech!

I like our laid-back schedule routine lazy days. I like having the girls with me. I like knowing what they’re learning and learning along with them. I like knowing all their friends and friends’ parents. I don’t like the idea of them only studying what the teacher wants. I don’t like the idea of homework. I don’t like this one bit. I do admit that I am overwhelmed and getting more so by the minute. I do admit that I may be a bit TOO laid back when it comes to our homeschooling, enough so that Squid’s getting worried. So, I’m going to fill out the paperwork, take it in, and pray, pray, pray!

I’ll still have my little Monkey-boy at home. He’s just soaking up learning like a sponge — and I haven’t even “taught” him anything. At church the other day, he picked up the kid’s worksheet and showed me all his numbers — they weren’t even in order — and he knew them all by sight up to 10! I guess technically we’re still homeschooling so Ron and Andrea won’t kick me out of here. It’s going to be an interesting new school year.

Wow, that was quite a little unannounced blog sabbatical, wasn’t it?! The weekend with RJ was woooooonderful, and it’s just been busy as all-get-out since then. I’m on Squid’s laptop - when I get back to my computer I’ll post some more pictures. Here’s a quick round-up of our goings-on:

• The church let Jim know a couple of months ago that they would no longer be able to keep him on staff. The economy in Michigan didn’t just hit the autoworkers, you know.
• The week we got his last paycheck from the church, his ‘real job’ let him know that they are cutting the hours of all per diem (contract) editors. He will now be working four 4-hour days and one 8-hour day - essentially three paid days per week.
• I started typing for an online transcription service. You get to schedule hours based on the number of hours you worked the previous week, so since I can only work when the kids are sleeping unless Squid is home, I haven’t gotten diddly squat. Hopefully business will pick up there — I’ve been working standby (unpaid unless I get a job to type) from 10pm to 2am, usually with no jobs.
• Squid got another part-time job, but jobs are really few and far-between! His friend who works at Kroger corporate found him a stockboy job -not what you go to college for - but this man I married is bound and determined to do ANYTHING to support his family! He did find a better-paying p/t position, but he ends up working 3-midnight there and then going into the station at 3am for at least a 4-hour shift. So far, coincidentally, the station has asked him to stay the full 8-hour shift on the nights he’s just worked an 8 at his other job. So 2-3 days a week for the last couple of weeks he’s worked 16 out of 24 hours, with 4-hr breaks between jobs. Doesn’t make for a happy, cheerful Squid. But we’re making it.

Anyway, things are looking up. We’re still looking for paid ministry opportunities but in the meantime working with our church on a volunteer basis. We are struggling with our decision to homeschool. Squid has been very committed to keeping me at home so that can continue, but there may come a point where we have to put the girls in school so I can get some actual paid hours with the transcription. I -so- do not want to do that! There is a charter school very near us that is more child-led and smaller classrooms than the local public school, so we are investigating that. They’ve never been in school, so we’ve never had to go through any of the rigamarole. I’ve got to check up on their vaccinations, have them tested for grade levels, get them outfitted. Yech. I know if it doesn’t work I can just pull them out, but then they’re in the system. I really don’t want to put the kids “on the grid”, you know? I guess I’m just rambling on. My heart definitely knows what decision I’d like to make, but practically we’re saying “Can we really make that work?”

I know some of you have had financial struggles throughout the years — sometimes directly related to your homeschooling decision. Any advice, wisdom to relate?

I was just watching WDIV news here in Detroit, covering the viewing of President Gerald Ford here in Michigan.  People came expecting to wait 3-4 hours in line, but some ended up having to wait up to 8 hours!  They interviewed a guy, who was asked “Did you wait that long?”  He answered “No.  The kids have to go to school tomorrow!” in an “of course not” tone of voice.  Can you imagine the principal who wouldn’t excuse an absence to experience something like that?  Or the parent who wouldn’t let their kid take an unexcused absence anyway?  If the kids were older, we’d heading to Grand Rapids ourselves, in fact we’d probably be waiting in line right now!

Last night, Monkey Boy would NOT go to bed. I rocked, let him watch a little CSI with me, let him play with a few toys, and still he would not get tired! He was yawning, but fighting actual sleep with all his might. Normally I would just keep putting him back to bed against his protests, but he was quite vocal with his refusal and Squid had to get up at 2am to go to work this morning. Thus, I caved.

At one point, I looked down from my computer chair and saw this sweet face:
(click for ultimate cuteness)

I was a little irked that he had those geometry shapes out AGAIN! He is constantly playing with them and leaving them all over the room. It’s not so bad when it’s the sphere or hemisphere, but those pyramids can hurt the tootsies! Then I looked closer at what he was doing with them:

(click to see a closeup of the page)

I swear, we have never worked on shapes at all. This unschooling thing just might work, after all!

(Andrea, why do pictures do this in this template?  They simply refuse to left-align.)

You know, I haven’t posted in over a week - but it’s not for lack of material. I get so many ideas, I just can’t focus my thoughts down to one post! Here’s some of the things running through my brain:

• How can I get Monkey Boy to do his vocal percussion in front of the camera so I can post it?
• Should we be doing more structured lessons?
• Is my new laundry routine really working?
• When we ever get the renovations done? What shall we do next? When will we be able to afford the next step?
• I’ve got to get some bulbs planted before the ground freezes. Probably should get it done before we leave on vacation.
• We’re leaving on vacation next Thursday. AAAAAAAAAACCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKK so much to do!!!
• Squid’s hours may be cut to 3 days per week for a while. What are we going to do?
• The washer won’t spin out the clothes. I tried to fool it by running another spin cycle - 3 times - but ended up wringing out the bottom half of the load by hand. We can’t get a new one til after vacation — and then probably not for a while. It’s probably at least 30 years old, does anyone repair these things?
• I have got to start doing my Bible study every day. There’s just too much good stuff in there to wait until the afternoon of the study. Of course, I’d have time if I weren’t on the computer so much or if I’d get up when I need to (6:30 am) instead of when my body wants to (8:30 am).
• Why does God need us to pray? Doesn’t He have a plan already? If He is all-knowing and omnipotent, what difference do our prayers make? Are we going to change His mind? I know we’re commanded to pray, so I do, but I wonder about these things.
• Bunches of stuff going on with Sis. Should I blog it or would it be exposing more than she would want. She could use the prayers and well-wishes.
• Is this urge to sleep all the time depression or a thyroid problem?  Just no energy for anything.
• I’ve got to lose some weight, need to exercise.  I really shouldn’t be gasping for breath after running Monkey Boy on his trike for 5 minutes.  Oh, how I hate exercising.

See how it goes? Round and round and round, with little or no lag time between thoughts. That’s actually just a little more organized than my brain is, I just put it in bullets for reading clarity. Sigh. Maybe one of these days I can find time to expand some of these things into posts.

How do your friends, family, acquaintances, and neighbors react when they find out you homeschool? I haven’t had a lot of negative remarks — especially with the Detroit teacher’s union strike and now our city’s teachers had a sick-out yesterday. People are realizing that the schools are not necessarily the best or only place for kids to be. My best friend’s children are in public school, although as much outside teaching as she does, I’d contend she’s practically homeschooling already. In fact, about half of my kindergarten and first grade curriculum came from stuff leftover from what SHE used to teach her daughter to read, and other things she used at home to supplement their classroom learning. We never debate on the subject — we both know that each of us is doing just exactly what she has determined is best for her family. I go to church with a couple of public school teachers, and my new next-door neighbor is a PS teacher, yet all I’ve ever gotten from them was polite curiosity “Oh, you homeschool? That’s nice.” Sometimes a little curricululm questions, but nothing that indicated they really wanted to know, lol.

Recently, on a local FlyLady e-mail loop, 3-4 of us who homeschool had started an off-topic discussion. One of the ladies on the loop is also a public school teacher, and I must say she sent one of the most gracious, diplomatic e-mails I’ve ever read on the subject of homeschooling by a teacher — and without bashing the public school system as well. I’d like to share it, and a follow-up e-mail, with you. (Please don’t hold the ellipses against her, perhaps after a day of grading punctuation, she’d like to just be done with it!)

R, your boys are so lucky to have you. Your hard work will pay off in a big way. As you know, I am a teacher and I am not putting down public education, but homeschooling is the ideal situation. These are YOUR children…. ..no one could love them and care more about their well being than their own parents. God gave those kids to YOU……not to the government to educate. I applaud you and any other mom/dad that has taken the responsibility of teaching their children and bring them up according to God’s principals. Kids are all different, and they need different things in their education. I am not putting down the public schools, but even the best teachers can’t meet every child’s needs……. we try…….but it is impossible.. ……you have to try to teach to the “middle” and pull up the ones and the lower end and enrich the ones at the high end. Plus our curriculum is dictated by the district, regardless of kids needs or interests. Not that this is all bad……it does provide organization and equity across the grades…… .but not all kids are interested in or need the same things at the same time. And being public education, we cannot link things to God as you can at home.
The family was set up by God…….I don’t remember seeing anything in the Bible about the public school system! I don’t mean to sound unhappy with my job……..I am not! I love what I do and I love the kids…….but I believe that parents should be the primary educators of their children…. .along with the church (God’s family). Hang in there……. I know it is all consuming to homeschool, but you are doing the right thing. Just my two cents worth.

Someone else replied that they also thought HSing was a great option, and felt for those who had to work to make ends meet, making HSing impossible. She replied:

<< And then there are those who would love to do that, but because of financial circumstances they both have to work. >>

Homeschooling in my opinion is the ideal situation for a family, but I do understand that not everyone has that option. Kids are individuals……with individual educational needs and interests…they develop at different times…..and don’t fit into a standardized mold……so if a parent…..who knows their kid better than anyone else in the world could possibly is able to homeschool…..I say horray[sic] for you!!!!!! So many moms really do have to work to help with family finances. Some work to provide for the “wants”……but many HAVE to work just to keep the basics. Jobs seem to be paying less as the basic living expenses are on the rise. Kids that have their moms at home are so lucky. I don’t mean to make moms that have to work feel bad……I understand
their situation too. But if you can stay home with your kids, it is the best thing for them…….even if it is a financial struggle……..you are right about us needing so much less than our culture says we do…….really all we
need is food, clothing, shelter and some form of transportation (doesn’t have to be a newer car….just a dependable one)….our culture tells us we need a big
house, nice furniture, closets overflowing with newish/stylish clothes, vacations, eating out, electronic toys, 2 new cars, a boat/camper/four wheeler/snowmobiles, a cottage, you name it and we NEED it! We can get by on so little that it is amazing…….but easy to fall into the trappings of our culture.

–P

Then she qualifies(emphasis mine):

p.s……anyone on the list with kids in public school…..It is NOT a bad situation. I am there….I know. On the whole teachers love their kids, and really try to do their best to meet individual needs. We want the best for your kids too…..but no one is a better teacher than a parent who is looking to raise their kids according to Godly principals. Public schools tend to get a bad rap and that isn’t deserved. My opinions about homeschooling are from a Christian perspective…….I am not anti public school…..just pro parenting……and education is part of parenting. And I do realize that homeschooling isn’t for everyone. We all have to search our hearts and do what is best from our perspective as a parent.
There isn’t a right or wrong……we each make decisions for our kids and not everyone makes the same decisions……..we do what is best for our own families…..not what someone else thinks is good for us.

Anyway, I had never seen a public school teacher GET homeschooling so clearly! I told her so, and asked if I could blog about it. Now, if I could get a teacher every year who believed “education is part of parenting”, I would be much more inclined to put my kids in school!

Joanne’s Unschooling Voices is asking asked (I didn’t get my post done in time for the Carnival) the question “Do you extend the principles of unschooling (trust, freedom, etc) into any other areas of your child’s life?”. Now, considering that we’ve basically stumbled and fallen into homeschooling, it’s hard to say. I’m in a strange place right now — and I think Squid may be thinking that I’ve entirely lost my mind. Thanks to some conversations on parenting over at Atypical Homeschool and some grace-based parenting articles I’ve read over at Tulip Girl (no specific links, she’s always posting great articles and links on this subject!), I’m doing a total rehaul of how I parent.

For those of you who haven’t been around here for a while, we were GKGWers. We were blessed to have a first baby who apparently had absorbed the classes in utero as well, because she was naturally on a 2-hr schedule after her first week or so (like the book said she would), responded well to the eat-wake-sleep cycle, and stretched to the 3-hr and 4-hr schedules right when the book said she would, and was sleeping through the night at roughly 12 weeks, like the . . . well you get it. So, what’s not to love? We both came from families whose parenting patterns we did NOT want to repeat and the Ezzos seemed to have the answers. Spanking wasn’t an issue — it was a completely normal thing where I grew up, and at least they had a plan so you wouldn’t lose your temper and over-spank or beat (was my opinion at the time). Jasmine seemed to respond well to first-time obedience (of course she did, she’s eldest child!), so we thought we were hot stuff! We were doing it all right and it was working!!! Then, Pink Pixie entered the picture, 15 months after Jasmine was born.

The first chip in my perfect GKGW facade was her colic. According to the Ezzos, there is no such thing as colic — you’re just doing it wrong. Now, I did just fine with #1, why would I be doing it wrong now? Basically we gave up the schedule and did whatever it took to settle her down. We did somewhat of the eat-wake-sleep cycle, but if she was sleeping, there was NO WAY we were going to wake her up! It all went out the window after that. Once the colic was gone, we resumed the GKGW schedules and practices. She too responded pretty well to first time obedience, although she was a bit more stubborn. We still spanked occasionally, but it wasn’t an every day thing or anything like that. As they got older and we decided to homeschool, I got more involved with internet discussion groups and started hearing things about Gary Ezzo’s character that really didn’t sit well with me. The more I read, the more I didn’t like that we were depending on this guy’s “God made you the authority in your home” teachings when he wouldn’t submit to the authority of the elders in his church(es)!  Add to this the fact that it simply wasn’t working for us — I just end up yelling a LOT, and my girls are picking up on that habit, yelling at each other and Monkeyboy as well.  I guess my old mentor would say we need to get back in the funnel (get back to basics), but I think it’s just not a method that works with my kids’ temperaments or mine.  I just become WAY too autocratic and while I agree that God put me in authority over my children, I think there’s a loving, grace-filled way to exercise that authority.  But I haven’t quite found it yet.

What does this have to do with homeschooling? Well, as I move away from a rigid rules-based parenting style towards a grace-based, reasoning, pro-active parenting style I’m also moving away from a schedule-based, curriculum-based schooling style toward a more unschooling idea. Both moves are freaking Squid right. out. He trusts me, loves the idea of homeschooling, but is firmly in the “kids thrive on schedules” camp. I keep trying to explain, send him posts and articles, to convince him that is a public school philosphy we’ve heard so many times we believe it’s universal truth. Besides, I’m not going totally unschool, I just don’t want a rigid schedule.  Any advice for spouses who can’t quite wrap their minds around unschooling?

When we started homeschooling, we were just trying it out for Kindergarten the year before Jasmine was to start K. She is a December baby and was ready for K work, but missed the September deadline. We started 100 Easy Lessons, but didn’t do it every day. I got some Kindergarten workbooks at Sam’s club, but still went about it all very informally. The year she was to start Kindergarten, we just kept doing K work, but I was determined to start it ‘for real’. We couldn’t afford a Sonlight type curriculum in a box, although that was the most attractive type for me. I’m a procrastinater, a dreamer not a do-er. I’ll think about doing something until it’s too late to actually do it. So a curriculum that tells me everyday what to do sounded perfect (and is still quite tempting, frankly). Since that was monitarily out of the picture, we went to Sam’s club, bought a couple of workbooks and kept on with 100 EZ lessons. I looked at Ambleside Online, but was overwhelmed with the sheer numbers of books to read! I still keep it bookmarked, there’s GREAT stuff in those lists! But frankly, if my “I hate to read” 7yo likes twaddle for now, I’m OK with it.

As we progress with HSing, Jasmine has never finished the 100 lessons and has decided she can’t read. I encourage, read to her, ask what this sign or that says, but we’re not doing “reading lessons”. On the other hand, when Pink Pixie turned 5 I gave her a Dick and Jane reader collection. She had the entire thing read - by herself - in a couple of days. She is me at that age — she reads the cereal box, the instructions to games, the back of the shampoo bottle, anything with words she’s attempting to read.

So, for this year, we’re going to start a little more math (real-life math — monopoly, counting UNO scores, cooking, money-money-money, worksheets only if they ask for them), and I am going to concentrate on reading TO them a lot more. We are also going to try to scrape together the funds for Rosetta Stone Spanish which we’ll do as a family. The girls are already planning our first Spanish night where we’ll speak only Spanish and eat Mexican food. That’s about it for my lesson-planning. Other than that, we’ll go with the flow and see what is interesting to them. (breath, honey, breath).

Besides the awesome Carnival of Unschooling, there are so many resources out there for ideas and encouragement. I think I actually found Life Without School through a Carnival post, and have them on my must-read list now. Today Tammy talks about how no matter what you call it or how you define it, unschooling just IS. As a person who really tries to define and explain myself and what I do, I found this really refreshing. Who cares if we use worksheets or use a schedule. Who cares if you think we’re ‘really’ unschoolers. We are. We do. We learn.